The Dirty Myrtle (South Carolina).

***** Disclaimer: since apparently this blog is so triggering to people who love the Dirty Myrtle and just cannot manage to keep their hateful comments to themselves, let me be very clear up front – THIS IS MY OPINION based on MY own personal experience. If you don’t agree, that is fine. I am not saying you aren’t allowed to love Myrtle Beach or have a different experience there. Believe it or not, people are allowed to have different opinions about places based off of their own personal preferences and experiences. I can’t believe this even needs to be said. *****

If you’ve ever watched Jenelle “I seen you wiff Keifah” Evans from Teen Mom 2… or watched Trailer Park: Welcome to Myrtle Manor… or were a fan of the reality TV show Party Down South… you’ve seen and heard of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, which has been lovingly nicknamed the Dirty Myrtle. It more than lived up to its nickname.

Myrtle Beach is, by far, my least favorite American city I’ve visited, and my least favorite travel destination overall (including everywhere I’ve been in the US, Europe, and Mexico). If I’m ever forced to stay on the beach again (coming here was a compromise between myself and my travel partner), I will go somewhere like Beach Haven, NJ, or any of the handful of beaches in Florida or California. Once again for those who missed it in the disclaimer, ✨✨✨IN MY OPINION✨✨✨ Myrtle Beach is simply one large tourist toilet. The beach was gross, the water brown. Trash is everywhere. Literally everything is dirty or covered in sand. It’s extremely overpriced and an endless money pit. Oh, and our hotel sucked.

So, without further ado, I present to you, MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE in The Dirty Myrtle.

You can see the lovely brown water and our terrific “resort” hotel in the background.

The Landmark

“Resort”

Due to Hurricane Barry forcing us to change plans last minute (we were originally going to the Gulf Coast), we had very slim pickins regarding hotels. Due to budget constraints, we couldn’t book the majority of what was left, as most were extremely pricy, so we settled on the Landmark Resort (read those two sentences again slowly before deciding to leave a hateful comment about why we chose Landmark). We had read the reviews, which mistakenly made it sound decent. However, this is no resort. Landmark claims to have a guest/souvenir shop. They don’t. They claim to have a waterpark. They don’t. They claim to have multiple nice restaurants. They don’t. They claim their rooms are like apartments or condos. They are not.

The guest/souvenir shop simply did not exist, and 3 of the 4 days we were there, most of the “waterpark” and inside pools/spas were closed due to children pooping and vomiting in them. The only “restaurant” we ever saw open was the bar. Also, to call the rooms condos is a joke.

Shoutout to you, Terrence!

As soon as you walk in, you’re in a small room with two beds that looks identical to a Super 8 motel. There is then a narrow kitchen (the nicest part of the whole room) with a bathroom attached directly behind the stove, which was great. Past the kitchen/bathroom was a living room with a small, rickety table, an extraordinarily hard couch, and extra Murphy bed. Next was the balcony, which was the only plus of the room, as it faced the ocean.

The view from our balcony. Having one of the pools directly below us wasn’t the greatest during the day.
Part of the ocean accessible in front of the hotel.

There were also issues with the hotel as a whole. First, the floors on the upper levels were all carpeted. Carpet next to the ocean means constantly wet carpet. Second, people would dump their entire ice bucket outside their hotel doors, directly onto the carpet, causing even more wetness. Third, there was a thin, wet layer of sand on all the floors, including every single elevator, at all times. Fourth, therefore sand constantly got everywhere. Even on the days we didn’t go to the beach, we’d somehow find sand in our hair, in our mouths, and in our beds.

But wait, there’s more! On our last night there, as we laid in bed trying to fall asleep, not only did we hear the loud, distinctive “squeakkkkk” of a mouse, we also caught this huge, nasty bug under one of our bags. Neither of us know much about bugs, but it sort of looks like an Oriental Cockroach (per my quick Google search). 🥴

A good part? We did get to use the outdoor lazy river one, single, night. It’s nice, albeit shallow, and constantly moving, so you basically float and try to avoid playing bumper cars with people. We also got to experience the indoor lazy river on our very last night, after they finally excavated all the bodily fluids…


Ripley’s

Aquarium

As aquariums go, Ripley’s in Myrtle Beach is pretty nice. Located at 1110 Celebrity Cir, Myrtle Beach, it’s humongous, with so many things to do that even adults will have a grand time. It’s open daily from 9am to 8pm, and comprised of two levels, with countless massive fish tanks filled with various fish including sea horses, clown fish, and angle fish. There are also tanks full of sting rays that swim over the top of you as you walk through the hallways.

Touch Pool.

There’s the classic touch pool where you can touch Horseshoe crabs. Apparently, even though they have these stingray-like tails, they are not poisonous. They actually use their long tails to flip themselves over if they happen to be pushed on their backs. You’re allowed to gentle stroke their backs with two fingers, but no picking them up.

Dangerous Reef conveyor belt.

Then there is the Dangerous Reef which is essentially a conveyor belt through a tank filled with sharks. You step onto a 340-foot long “gliding glidepath” and be gently whisked through the tank. There are nurse, sand tiger, and sandbar sharks, as well as green moray eels, green sea turtles, and tarpon fish. This is naturally a popular attraction, but due to the way it’s set up, you don’t have an impeded view. It takes approximately 10 minutes to complete.

Shark above us on in the Dangerous Reef.

Aside from the Dangerous Reef, there are many other exhibits, including Rio Amazon, Planet Jellies, Discovery Center, and Rainbow Rocks. There are also “encounters”, like Penguin Encounters, Stingray Experience, and Dive with Sharks. They do allow sleepovers, where families and groups can stay the night.

Lastly, the Ripley’s Glass Bottom Boat Adventure. Located on the 2nd floor, the glass bottom boat floats on the top of the same tank as the sharks and turtles in the Dangerous Reef. You’ll see the people gliding along as you look down at the sharks swimming beneath you. You can get tickets at guest services or at the glass bottom boat area itself. They send a maximum of 8 people per tour, so you may have to wait a go-around. We had to wait for the next boat, which was approximately 30 minutes.

It’s a bit costly, priced at $29.99 per person. I’m not sure it’s worth it, but if you have children, they will love it. Also, the boat only operates Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, from 10am to 4:30pm.


Broadway

at the Beach

Broadway at the Beach is a huge shopping and entertainment center, with more than 150 stores, attractions, restaurants, and carnival rides. Some of the attractions include Ripley’s Aquarium, Legends in Concert, WonderWorks, and the Hollywood Wax Museum. There are also 3 hotels; a Hampton Inn, Fairfield Inn, and Holiday Inn Express. Be forewarned, Broadway at the Beach is not by the real beach. It’s built around a large, man-made lake and meant to resemble a beach pier.

***From Google.***

As mentioned, there are a lot of stores, many of which are speciality ones. Some examples include wine, magic supplies, sunglasses, moonshine, flip flops, candy, kites, candles, and toys. Plus there are well-known stores like Victoria’s Secret, Harley Davidson, Crocs, Build-a-Bear, Claire’s, and more. There’s also small booths throughout the pier. All meant to resemble a good-time beachy pier vibe.

At the pier, there is an area where everyone can feed the fish. The fish have become well aware of this, so they all show up and flop all over each other in a fight for the food. It was one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen.
From one of the airbrush booths.

We chose Paula Deen’s Family Kitchen for dinner, which is “down home cooking”. If that isn’t your thing, there’s plenty of other restaurants, including the Hard Rock Café, Dave & Busters, Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville, Senor Frog’s, Wahlburgers, and more.

At the hostess booth outside, we heard her tell the woman in front of us that it would be a 2-hour wait to seat her entire large party, or they could seat them at different tables after a shorter wait. It was foreboding, but we found out there are benefits in only being 2 people. Since many of these places are family vacation hotspots, it tends to leave the smaller tables and booths available. We were able to be seated immediately.

Paula Deen’s is “family-style”, i.e. you order shared sides and then you get your own entrée. You can choose up to 4 sides – we choose the baked mac n’ cheese, broccoli casserole, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn. Our main entrées were chicken & dumplings and Georgia fried catfish, plus we also got “Grandmama Paul’s Fried Green Tomatoes” as an appetizer. The food was excellent 🤌🏼, but it was way too much, and they don’t do to-go boxes. We couldn’t finish it all, so that was disappointing. It says it on the menu and the waiter will tell you person. Also, you only get two options: 2 entrées with 4 sides or 3 entrées with 4 sides. Both come with a dessert per person.

Better come hungry!!! 😅


This was taken around 7am. By 10am, it was packed.
Sunburn. 👎🏼

We fully planned to have a jam-packed stay at Myrtle Beach, but everything was way too overcrowded, so overpriced, and it was way too hot. To be fair, there are tons of things to do in the Dirty Myrtle, many of which are family friendly. However, some require a decent amount of $$$. Some of these include parasailing, dolphin cruises, snorkeling, jet skis, Ferris wheel, planation tours, deep sea fishing, helicopter rides, zip lining, and a Medieval Times.


I got extremely sunburned by underestimating the coastal sun. We were only out there for about 1.5 hours, and I got the worst sunburn of my entire life!! Not exaggerating, I had tan lines on my stomach for well over a year. I began to worry it was somehow permanent.

Overall, IN MY OWN, PERSONAL OPINION, I’d easily and quickly rank Myrtle Beach, South Carolina as my least favorite travel destination. I even rank it below Las Vegas (Las Vegas: Overpriced & Overrated.). I’ll be fine never revisiting (especially after reading all the hateful comments from people who love it here. I rather not go back to somewhere that attracts such people). If I’m ever in the mood for unrelenting tourist bombardment, I’ll just head to Gatlinburg or Disneyland. At the very least, it’ll be sand free!

One last important note: I’m not sure if it was because we went in mid-July, but people lit off fireworks on the beach every single night 💥. It would usually begin around 10pm and continue for about an hour. Truthfully, you are not going to stop people from lighting them off, and apparently neither will the hotels or the police. If this would be an issue to those with small children, you really may want to consider finding lodging off of the beach.

Until never, Myrtle Beach. Stay dirty. ✌🏼

24 thoughts on “The Dirty Myrtle (South Carolina).

    1. Charles Dunlap

      U went wrong time of year and stayed on the wrong side, yes it has got a bit pricey but so has everywhere else I enjoy my stay Everytime I go

      Like

  1. HeyItsRae

    Landmark isn’t the best. I’d stay in garden city next time. It’s much nicer. Or try folly beach. Since fireworks are legal here, people set them off all summer if they come from an illegal state

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yepp

    I lived here for 3 years and everything you said is correct. This place fucking sucks. Nothing but overpriced tourist shit to do and the amount of trash everywhere is insane. Can’t wait to move back out west.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thatb@#$hCrystal

    Out of all the resorts in Myrtle Beach, who decided on the Landmark? Lol. The same resorts that guys killed his parents in…smh. Also that was a Palmetto bug, which is in fact the states bug. They are indigenous to SC. I will a admit Myrtle Beach is ratchet af, mostly because the higher-ups that knew what they were doing died during the pandemic and now the important decision are a made by greedy morons. Oh, and who comes to the beach to eat fried chicken at Paula Deen’s? You should have gone to Captain George’s, they have to best seafood. Do some research next time. That is if it’s in the budget….lol.

    Like

    1. Alan

      Wow total lack of common sense. I wouldn’t post my real name either if I had written such a moronic story as this! This comment has nothing to do with being offended of an opinion, it has to do with your complete lack of knowledge of Myrtle Beach and obvious inability to properly book a vacation. Yet, you are writing blogs over the subject?! First of all, the water is nowhere near brown nor is there trash everywhere. 2nd of all, don’t be cheap when choosing a resort and you won’t have the issues that you speak of. If you’re going to be a “world traveler blogger”Why then at least do research over the place you’re traveling to and book the resort well in advance. Why the hell are you writing a blog over a city you clearly know very little about? Also, you obviously have something against the beach in general as I gathered by your quote, “If I’m ever forced to stay on the beach again.” I’m a bit confused by this statement as I would never be forced to go or stay somewhere I wouldn’t want to be at. Of course Myrtle Beach is a tourist town so naturally the beach will be packed! Again, do your research and go at a better time of the year! Or here’s an idea that makes sense, don’t go to the beach if you don’t like it! I have one more good idea for you before I go,, don’t quit your day job!

      Like

    2. Rita

      I was friends with Carrie and Steve whose son murdered them in the landmark. That comment was unnecessary. TheLandmark had nothing to do with that crime. I’m sure if you checked every hotel in the world, not just Myrtle Beach, they have had someone killed or OD’d in it. When you stay beachfront at an actual beach like Myrtle, the wind always blows and so does sand. The palmetto bugs are attracted to anywhere wet. Lastly Myrtle is a tourist beach. If you want something more quiet and less crowded you’ll need to find a small beach

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Rob

    The only thing that was dirty about Myrtle Beach when you guys were here was you! You got famous by being a teen mom which is fkn retarded to begin with. MTV and everyone involved in that show should go sky diving without parachutes.!

    Like

    1. Perhaps you should reevaluate your reading comprehension skills. I’m not a teen mom and never once said I was on MTV’s Teen Mom. Maybe read better next time before leaving such a hateful comment to a complete stranger. Have a great blessed day.

      Like

  5. Jeff Lebowski

    You should have visited the 100 miles of shoreline above Myrtle Beach which are in the cleanest and serene coastal area on the east coast. Also, below MB is gorgeous from Pawley’s Island to Charleston. Don’t bash our beaches if you visited a small part of Myrtle Beach that is commercial. Hell, I don’t even go to Myrtle Beach and live on the most wonderful part of Carolina coast.

    Like

  6. Moon

    I say this lovingly with a bit of cheek: Native of Dirty Myrtle here, 6 generations and counting. You also need to know, please stop moving here. It’s a black hole that will drain your resources, your soul and life force, and 5 years later you’ll wake up on the Boardwalk and wish you had never left Jersey or Philly or Ohio, etc. I’ve been trying to escape for 44 years! Save yourselves, I’ve heard Florida is lovely

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Mia

    You picked the wrong spot!
    Very biased review of the cheap section of myrtle beach. Try going to cabana row or north of the wheel. So much beauty in the Grand Strand but you get what you pay for.

    Like

    1. Of course it’s biased, it’s based off of my own personal experience and opinion. I’m sure there are plenty of spots I have loved that others disliked. Thank you for the suggestion – I will definitely keep it in mind if I ever happen to make it back that way.

      Like

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